In my life I've had many such awakenings. I've come to realize that they're all driving me to the same goal, though the true meaning of that goal is still hidden. I may not know where I'm going to end up, but I know it's a good place and that I'm being led there by a higher Divine power.
A lot of what I've experienced in my life--good and bad, spiritual and mundane--has led me to the point I'm at right now. The painful parts of my past has led me to have a deeper understanding of the amount of pain a person can go through. The beautiful and joyous parts of my life have led me to see how happy a person can be, and many ways to achieve that happiness. The illnesses I've experienced also give me a deeper understanding into what it's like to be sick and why while some people would give anything to get better, others would rather stay at least a little sick/injured a little while longer. ...The list goes on...
I've come to realize that for now at least my path is that of a healer. On one of my favorite shows a character said that a doctor should be shot or cut on so they know what their patients go through. While I don't think that something that drastic NEEDS to be done, I believe that the good and bad things that happened to me, and the healing I've undergone as a process, will help me to be a better healer. It's given me a deeper understanding of what those I help have undergone and that insight helps me to find ways to help them.
At first I was a Christian. I grew up Protestant and had a love of religion. I felt something pure when I prayed. But I always knew there was more to the world than what I could see and what I was taught. When I was 13 I heard about Wicca and Witchcraft and began reading about it. A light went on inside of me and I knew that was a path I was meant to follow.
After I got out of the Navy I found myself helping my friends, both spiritually and mundane. When I would help them, and even when I helped a stranger, I felt this intense feeling of good inside. I also found myself growing in ability and awareness.
Then the shit hit the fan when I remembered some very traumatic events that had happened in my childhood and teen years. Most of that is in this journal actually, as I wrote about what was going on in order to help me cope.
Last August I went and had my first reiki session. I figured it might be kind of cool. What happened was so transforming that it led me to get my attunement so I could help others with reiki.
Then after I moved here (October) I found myself suddenly very attracted to shamanism. I started reading about it and have journeyed quite a few times. What happened in those journeys not only helped me to heal myself from a lot of old wounds, but also allowed me to learn how to help others even more.
I feel that spiritually I've gone from the path of a Witch to that of a Shaman. I've combined a lot of what I've learned and I'm helping not only myself but others too. I still have a lot of self healing and learning before I would even think of taking on the title of a Shaman. But I'm headed there.
The result of all of this? I finally feel complete. I feel like I'm on the path I'm meant to take. I am whole and my path will lead me to be able to help more and more people. It's what I'm supposed to do and I welcome this path with open arms and a joyful heart.