Jessica (amethystrse) wrote,

Spiritual awakening

I a person's lifetime they can have many spiritual awakenings. They're points in your life where your spirituality takes a giant leap forward and you're left with a deeper understanding of yourself and the world around you.

In my life I've had many such awakenings. I've come to realize that they're all driving me to the same goal, though the true meaning of that goal is still hidden. I may not know where I'm going to end up, but I know it's a good place and that I'm being led there by a higher Divine power.

A lot of what I've experienced in my life--good and bad, spiritual and mundane--has led me to the point I'm at right now. The painful parts of my past has led me to have a deeper understanding of the amount of pain a person can go through. The beautiful and joyous parts of my life have led me to see how happy a person can be, and many ways to achieve that happiness. The illnesses I've experienced also give me a deeper understanding into what it's like to be sick and why while some people would give anything to get better, others would rather stay at least a little sick/injured a little while longer. ...The list goes on...

I've come to realize that for now at least my path is that of a healer. On one of my favorite shows a character said that a doctor should be shot or cut on so they know what their patients go through. While I don't think that something that drastic NEEDS to be done, I believe that the good and bad things that happened to me, and the healing I've undergone as a process, will help me to be a better healer. It's given me a deeper understanding of what those I help have undergone and that insight helps me to find ways to help them.

At first I was a Christian. I grew up Protestant and had a love of religion. I felt something pure when I prayed. But I always knew there was more to the world than what I could see and what I was taught. When I was 13 I heard about Wicca and Witchcraft and began reading about it. A light went on inside of me and I knew that was a path I was meant to follow.

After I got out of the Navy I found myself helping my friends, both spiritually and mundane. When I would help them, and even when I helped a stranger, I felt this intense feeling of good inside. I also found myself growing in ability and awareness.

Then the shit hit the fan when I remembered some very traumatic events that had happened in my childhood and teen years. Most of that is in this journal actually, as I wrote about what was going on in order to help me cope.

Last August I went and had my first reiki session. I figured it might be kind of cool. What happened was so transforming that it led me to get my attunement so I could help others with reiki.

Then after I moved here (October) I found myself suddenly very attracted to shamanism. I started reading about it and have journeyed quite a few times. What happened in those journeys not only helped me to heal myself from a lot of old wounds, but also allowed me to learn how to help others even more.

I feel that spiritually I've gone from the path of a Witch to that of a Shaman. I've combined a lot of what I've learned and I'm helping not only myself but others too. I still have a lot of self healing and learning before I would even think of taking on the title of a Shaman. But I'm headed there.

The result of all of this? I finally feel complete. I feel like I'm on the path I'm meant to take. I am whole and my path will lead me to be able to help more and more people. It's what I'm supposed to do and I welcome this path with open arms and a joyful heart.

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