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I haven't posted in a while. At least it feels that way. The past few days I've been on edge. Just generally angry at everyone and anxious about everything. Then I realized, I'm also seriously craving chocolate. Geee....wonder what's coming....

I'm really nervous about this fair that I'm going to be face painting at on Saturday. I just want my booth to be perfect and it feels like everything is falling apart. I have a lot to do to prepare and I'm so overwhelmed that I feel like I'm going to explode. lol

I need to just relax. Everything will be fine. I'm getting myself all worked up for nothing. This happens every time I start trying to do something to make money. I reach a point where the dream I had is becoming a reality and I freak out. That inevitably leads to failure. I won't let that happen this time. I'm determined to get it right. Do it right. And just have fun with it. It doesn't have to be perfect. Just good.

I'm going to try to sleep. It's way too early/late to do much right now.

Comments

( 10 comments — Leave a comment )
deb90
Apr. 24th, 2012 11:58 am (UTC)
Find peace within yourself and everything will be perfect.
amethystrse
Apr. 24th, 2012 01:07 pm (UTC)
I'm planning on going on a nature walk today after the kids leave for school. It always helps to calm and center me. There are these beautiful trails through a canyon near my house. So that's where I'm going to go.
ravensong
Apr. 24th, 2012 02:03 pm (UTC)
Maybe not think of it as a way to make money? Just think of it as doing something you enjoy?

Regardless, good luck with it all. You're a talented artist so I know it'll all go well :)
amethystrse
Apr. 24th, 2012 02:57 pm (UTC)
I'm trying. There are a lot of reasons why I'm nervous. A few of them have to do with details that aren't coming together. Little things that are no big deal. Another thing is that I'm agoraphobic and really afraid that my anxiety will be too high to cope.

I can't live in fear. So I'm pushing forward.
writtenoutloud
Apr. 24th, 2012 04:32 pm (UTC)
i'm ag too. try to give yourself breaks as needed and let yourself know you can take a break to take care of yourself. feel things out. give yourself time to get comfortable in a new situation...

amethystrse
Apr. 25th, 2012 06:52 pm (UTC)
Yeah, maybe when there's a lull I can ask the woman at the booth next to me to watch my stuff while I and the lock box take a walk outside for a few minutes.
writtenoutloud
Apr. 24th, 2012 04:31 pm (UTC)
think of it as practice...

i know what you mean--i get all freaked and have anticipatory anxiety so bad before events.
amethystrse
Apr. 25th, 2012 06:52 pm (UTC)
Glad I'm not the only one. What do you do to cope?
caninepawprints
Apr. 25th, 2012 02:42 am (UTC)
Aunt Flo is coming to town! HIDE! *dives under the bed*
amethystrse
Apr. 25th, 2012 06:51 pm (UTC)
That's probably a big part of it. I'm craving chocolate which is usually the first sign. Though my PMS insanity isn't usually this bad. lol
( 10 comments — Leave a comment )